Robin Romanelli Bartlett, Illinois

In May of 2012 I got pregnant which was on purpose it was not an accident which she knew. Their affair did start before that. I even got HPV while i was pregnant with my son, but still didn’t want to think the worst. I have my baby, which is the most amazing thing I’ve ever done. At 5 weeks old we start fighting badly about our puppy. She was too crazy to be around the baby and I wanted my mother in law to take her. My husband got so mad and was telling me we weren’t going to work, hes never been happy, etc etc. I call her the homewrecker still not knowing about the affair and would cry my eyes out about how scared I am to have my new baby and be terrified of being a single parent. She comforts me assures me my husband loves me and will never leave me.
I bought my husband and I new cell phones. I had to call during the day to set things up for it. Once his phone is set up, a text from her immediately comes in saying “I don’t know but you need to be there for you children” that set it off. He admitted he cheated on me with her. I said I would go get a lawyer and tried to leave, he stopped me. He looked very deranged at this point. Even that day that I found out he had to go to the restaurant and be around her. Heartbroken doesn’t describe how I felt and still feel. We have a beautiful home, 2 working cars, and 2 wonderful kids, he would have NONE of this and still be living in a basement if it wasn’t for me. I raise his older son as my own, I am his mom in every way shape and form.
Whether the affair went on or not after I’m not sure but I still saw he was calling and texting her so i blocked her number on his phone. One day our fighting came to a head, I said he needed to pack his s*** and go if he “loves” and wants to be with her, I don’t care. I said I was going to go to my friends and he needed to pack his s*** and go. He proceeded to yell at me call me a w**** and say he was taking our older son and he’s his not mine. He was mine while it was convenient to the affair but when I stood up and said for him to leave then he threatened that he’d take our older son. Our older son witnessed this entire fight and was crying his eyes out thinking I was leaving. Every emotion and all the fear I had to see on my older sons face, I’ve never felt so terrible inside.
Meanwhile I email this homewrecker and say I can’t believe that she could hurt me so bad and she has no business having any kind of relationship or friendship with him. She proceeds to say I’ve never had any right to say they couldn’t be friends and I don’t know what i’m talking about. She proceeds to call me dumb and says i’ll never change, mind you he’s the 2nd husband shes had an affair with.
Eventually my husband quit the restaurant, it was nice to have him home more often. Trying to get passed this is the hardest thing. He doesn’t even look like the man he once did, but I hope he does again someday. I still do love him and want to keep our family together. We have a lot of good and happy things going for our family but now it always feels like Yellowstone, it looks pretty on the outside but could explode at any moment.
It would be easiest to just give up and kick him out but I’m here trying.
To the women who stay and try, just breath, accept and prepare for a life without them but there’s no shame in working through it and still loving the idiotic man who cheats on a good woman with a common rat.

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